Ever Considered Joining the Illuminati? It’s the Fun New Nigerian Scam…

Box Of Fail

(Truthstream Media) Remember those Nigerian email scams where someone randomly emails you out of the blue and claims they are the long-lost cousin of African royalty King-er-whats-his-name-Bob and he or she really needs your help moving something crazy like $8.375 billion dollars out of the country which can only be done oddly enough using your bank account, you know, for safety reasons but for which you’ll get a few million thrown your way in return just for being so sweet and thoughtful enough to willingly hand over all of your financial information to a total stranger on the Internet?

Well, now those scams have apparently morphed into an invite to join… the Illuminati.

I first noticed this when Aaron reported on Kim Kardashian’s family Christmas card, a story in which he dared to use the word “Illuminati” in the title. Scroll down and check the comments, all 490 of them. My Disney subliminal piece is filled with them, too.

Most all of them look something like this.


Aww, are the Illuminati cool or what? They care so much about you they just want to give you millions of dollars for no reason because they want you to rule your world and be free from oppression period comma comma period period comma comma period period comma.

Most are grammatically incorrect tales about how the person’s life was filled with a fat bag of woe until he or she joined up with the prestigious, (albeit Satanic), Illuminati who magically gave them a life of power and riches behind their wildest dreams yadda yadda blah blah blah wash rinse repeat.

Most want you to join up so badly, they even include their phone number and email address. Some even have a little form you can copy and paste.


Others try to be scary about it:

mrandrewilluminatiYeah! No one discard the message of the GREAT ILLUMINATI if discarded the person will be tormented both day and night.
(Personally, I’m more tormented by the missing comma, but that’s just me…)

Most don’t seem to realize that as the owner of this website I can geolocate their IP addresses.

And most of them (not all, but most) are based in Nigeria of all places.

scammernigeriaThis particular one even has comments about how they are a scammer who is not to be trusted ever…

jenniferhazardMrs. Jennifer Hazard claims to be from Turkey. She (or he, who knows), too, is based in Nigeria.

I don’t actually believe anyone who comes to this site or, frankly, any site would fall for something this utterly ridiculous. I left the comment section open specifically to point this out as an FYI, and really just out of curiosity as to how many of those comments would eventually show up. The article was written in December 2013 and the comments continue to trickle in.

Still, now that I’m putting this post up, watch how many new invites start pouring into the comment section below for you to join the all powerful Illuminati today! (Until I shut the whole thing down, that is.)

And oh, by the way, as much as the media and pop stars like Madonna and Katy Perry are trying to spoof the Illuminati as if it’s all just a big joke, and as much as these Nigerian Illuminati scams are hilarious until you’ve read 490 of them, the Illuminati itself has a history. Aaron reported from the birthplace.