After weeks of speculation, the government has officially shut down.
Mr. Obama took full responsibility for the shutdown centered around his wildly popular Obamacare law. The president reassured Americans that both he, and our public servants, are handling the situation like adults, stating, “One faction of one party in one house of Congress in one branch of government shut down major parts of the government all because they didn’t like one law.”
Others speculated the government shut down because Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) just really sucks at reading Dr. Seuss.
Unnamed spokespersons with White House titles have claimed that our government plans to reopen as soon as a permanent solution to America’s debt problem is worked out which, if the last 100 years are any indication, is sure to happen any second now.